


Caged Freedom

by coffeeflavoredtears



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Angst, Arguments, Arranged Marriage, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Marriage of Convenience, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-02
Updated: 2018-11-24
Packaged: 2019-07-05 17:24:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 9
Words: 10,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15868266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coffeeflavoredtears/pseuds/coffeeflavoredtears
Summary: Alexander had always hated being treated as nothing more than an object. He was just a plaything and nothing more. His whole life he had known that he was going to be sold into marriage for some reason or other. When a war begins to brew with a neighboring country, his father decides his son is old enough to marry.John Laurens was first in line for the throne. With a war brewing with a neighboring country, his father convinces him to take the country's offer of marriage to their prince. John hates the idea, although the knowledge he'd finally get something, or someone in this matter, to have his fun with.Arranged marriages are common and not completely unheard of, especially among royalty. This one, in particular, is going to prevent war from breaking out. Neither party is pleased, but it's not like they get much choice when their parents think it would be best.





	1. Chapter 1

**-= Alexander's POV=-**  
I hated the idea as soon as it was proposed to me. I didn't want to marry some stuck-up prince who was probably only agreeing to it for his own entertainment! James was perfectly single but no. Of course I had to be the one they got rid of. It seemed to be the only reason they had me in fact.

"Always listen to people higher than you." "Never talk down to your spouse." "Be respectful." "Don't think about yourself."

I hated it. I wasn't just some toy they could pass around. In my anger I had thrown a vase across the throne room, shattering it against one of the walls. I was leaving my home in a week. In one week I was supposed to move in with my soon to be husband so we could "get to know each other" before the wedding. I hated my life. I hated everything about it.

Two months before the wedding. In two months I would no longer be my own person, and would practically belong to the poor guy who was going to have to deal with me. I may be small and feminine in my stature, but when I wanted to be, I could be an actual demon.

Poor guy has no idea what he's getting into.

 **-= John's POV =-**  
I hated the idea at first. I didn't want to marry some stuck up brat. Although when I was given more details and reasoning, the way it sounded he was going to have to be able to sit still and look pretty.

The whole reason for this was so we didn't start a war with Idris. They knew from the start they would suffer too many casualties and had apparently offered their youngest son.

"I should warn you though, that he may not seem like it, but when he doesn't want something, he will make sure it doesn't happen. He's most likely going to try and make you hate him."

I laughed hearing that. From what I had heard the kid was barely 5'3". There was no way he could truly put up that much of a fight. I had nodded my head and finished up the meeting much more excited for this marriage. I was practically being handed something, no someone to do as I please with. It was going to be fun.


	2. Chapter 2

**-= Alexander's POV =-  
** Today was the day. I was supposed to be in Illea by tonight. Yay. Sitting in the carriage was absolute hell. It was bouncy and for a large portion of our journey, we wouldn't be on a proper road. 

I spent the entire ride pouting. My father was going with me until the wedding while he worked out all the finer details. Although if I could get that spoiled ass prince to hate me he wouldn't agree to the marriage. I grin wildly. Everyone had probably already assumed I was going to create trouble. It's what I've always done when I didn't get my way. 

I've just never not-wanted something this badly. Usually, I would be trying to get out of the balls I hated, or events and the like. This time I had more than a night I'd be stuck sitting still and looking pretty. This time the rest of my life was on the table.

If I couldn't convince my father to call this whole thing off, I'd get someone else to.

 **-= John's POV =-  
** Tonight Alexander was supposed to be arriving. I had gotten much more information about him, from his personality to just how extreme his "temper tantrums" would get. Apparently, he'd once hidden in a nearby village for almost a month to get out of some suitor's visit. They said they found him hiding out with a tailor under the name Hercules Mulligan.

As much as it made me want to call it off at that, I had to give him credit. Although if he did that to get out of someone attempting to marry him for anything more then love, I could only imagine what he'd try.

He didn't know the land out here, so that was the only advantage we had. As I finished tying my hair up in a navy colored ribbon to match my outfit, one of the maids entered, informing me that Alexander and his father had arrived. 

After her, taking a few moments to breathe before plastering a fake smile on my face and exiting my room, meeting my parents and two of my four siblings. Mary and Henry were still too young, James barely being allowed to join us following his fourteenth birthday a few months ago.

Moments later, two people entered the room, the older of the two I assumed to be Alexander's father, and when my eyes settled on Alexander himself I was thoroughly confused. Instead of a suit like I had been expecting, he was wearing a knee-length emerald green dress that poofed out at the waist. The fabric covered his shoulders and most of his chest, barely showing his collar bones.

It was odd, to say the least, but it went well with his raven hair that just passed his shoulders. When I looked at his face I almost laughed. He looked absolutely pissed, and he was giving everyone in the room a death glare. This was going to be fun. At least he wasn't too bad looking.

 **-= Alexander's POV =-  
** He didn't have to open his mouth for me to hate him. As soon as I saw him I know my job was going to be not only easy but extremely fun. He looked just as pretentious as I had imagined. For the most part of the evening, we were around other people. It was bearable.

Until they sent us to the library to "Get to know each other."

As soon as the door closed, he opened his stupid pretentious mouth. "Why do you wear them?"

"Pardon me?" I ask, thoroughly confused.

"The dress. You act like it's normal for you. Why?"

Oh. This was definitely going to be fun. Ignorant too. "Never got much of a choice. Mom had barely survived childbirth, they wanted a daughter and couldn't have one. Made their son into one." I turned to get a decent look at him and just great. Pity.

"I apo-"

"Don't even start. Drop the act. There's no way you can be perfectly fine with this." I cross my arms. He was taller than me and it was already annoying me. I wish I had a chance to tell Hercules. I probably could have convinced him to come with me. He was the only reason I stayed sane growing up.

"What do you mean? It's not like it's unnatural." I wasn't going to let this slide. There was no way he was just accepting it.

"The fuck? It's not unnatural? What part of it is right anyways!? It's literally the equivalent to selling someone. Slavery is unnatural. You're buying and selling actual people. How is this any different?" His face, when I was done talking, was worth it. I still had no idea if he would try to hit me, but with my father still, here, there was no way he'd risk anything.

I give him a smug smirk. It seems to hit a nerve because the next thing I know I'm being pinned against a wall. I don't let my smirk fade, knowing he could try anything. My size has never been a disadvantage before and like hell I was going to let it now. Still, I let him think he was in control for the moment.

"You don't seem to understand who's in charge here. I could simply kill you and if we say we won't continue to wage that war there would be no repercussions. I dare you to test me-" He was cut off by me kneeing him in the groin and swapping positions so he was now the one pinned to the wall.

"Don't underestimate me. I have friends in places nobody would even think to know, and one sign that I'm not safe and doing well and there would be an army on your doorstep. Kill me, and they find out, there will be punishments worse than death."

My little speech seemed to get through to him because he simply pulled away, dusting himself off. "Good luck dealing with me,  _darling_." I exaggerate the last word in an attempt to annoy him. 

I wasn't going to let myself become weak because of this. One letter to Lafayette and things would go to hell. He didn't seem to understand what I meant by "friends". Hopefully, he figures it out before I ask for help out of this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again. Short. I know. I promise they get longer.


	3. Chapter 3

**-= John's POV =-  
** We never saw the others that night, and as soon as I was alone I let out a breath I didn't know I had been holding. Holy hell this kid was going to be a handful. I knew I'd get a lot of crap from my father if I didn't agree to this marriage, however, so I had to remind myself it was a situation out of my control.

I changed out of my suit and into some comfy pants, curling up on my bed. As annoying as he seemed, he clearly seemed to think this would be better than living the life he had been, which was kind of concerning. I felt kind of bad for him, being forced to wear dresses and act feminine, when from what I could tell he was a little spitfire.

I was growing curious as to what he would be like if given the chance to be himself when it hit me. I knew what I was going to do.

 **-= Alexander's POV =-**  
When I was led to where I was to stay for the time being, I grinned when I saw my bag with my paper and quills. I retrieved an empty notebook and begun writing in the empty spaces, writing about anything and everything. it was something my parents hated me doing, but let me when I was alone.

Sure, everyone thought it was a waste of paper and ink but I could care less. When I wrote I could be myself. No worries about how I looked, or if I was polite. They were for me and only me. Sometimes I would show Hercules or Lafayette, but it was a rare thing.

I paid no attention to time passing, or what was going on around me until I heard something fall. I turned to the direction of the sound to see John holding one of my notebooks, close to the door, with a now broken vase on the floor.

I sprung up and rushed over, attempting to grab my notebook from his hands, John holding it above his head. "Give me my fucking notebook back." I said, continuing to reach for it. I refused to jump. Not admitting defeat like that.

"I was just curious! Come on, let me see what makes this so important." He went to open it, and upon noticing it was one of my older ones, back from when I had grown depressed, It suddenly became more urgent. Nobody knew about that part of my life but my mother, who hid it from the world.

"Just stop, there are things in there you can't see!" I continued to reach for the notebook, hoping nothing fell out.

"Oh really? Like what?" I opened my mouth to reply when a small slip of paper fell out. The words died in my throat as I recognized it instantly. I grabbed it before he noticed and ran to the nearest candle, ignoring the memories it held as I caught it on fire. I watched it burn, tears prickling at the corner of my eyes when I turned around to see John reading from the notebook.

It was too late. I put out the note I had in my hand, not caring at this point. I leaned against the wall, feeling the tears finally fall. I hadn't felt like this in ages. The sudden want to feel something other than the torrent of emotion. Something  _physical._

My eyes screwed shut in an attempt to stop the tears, a hand over my mouth as I slid down the wall. A few moments later I felt someone rubbing my upper back. I leaned into it until I opened my eyes and saw who it was. Tearing myself away, I hid in the washroom, locking the door behind me.

I looked around, for something. Anything that would give me that sweet relief. It took a few moments before I found a cracked tile. It took a few moments, but I eventually got the smaller piece loose. I pulled the top of my pants down, just enough so I could see my upper thigh. Without another thought I pushed the cracked tile into my skin, waiting for it to draw a small amount of blood before quickly jerking it across my leg.

I repeated this a few more times before watching the blood roll down my leg. I was sitting down by this point, not caring about the tears falling down my face. It had been years since I had done this. I never wanted anybody but my mother to know, and now the spoiled, creepy man I was supposed to marry in a month knew.

It was the one thing I had hoped I could hide. Why did I bring that notebook again? Not like it mattered anymore. Maybe discovering this would make him feel bad and call this whole thing off. Even then, I had expected John to laugh and demean me because of this. Instead he attempted to comfort me.

I heard a knock on the door, and after a moment speaking. "Open this door. If it's not open in one minute I'm opening it myself and coming in."

"Just leave me be." I said, loud enough so he could hear.

"I can't do that right now."

"Yes, you can. Just leave. Leave, and while you're at it call this whole thing off. Not like I could." I muttered the last part. It didn't matter what I wanted because in the end, I was only an object to my father. Something that could be molded into something else to suit his needs.

"I can't do that and you know it. Please, just come out and we can talk."

"There's nothing to talk about."

"There's always something to talk about. Just come out. I won't lay a hand on you." I thought about it for a moment before pulling my pants over my cuts, not caring that there was still blood on my leg and the floor, and now my pants. I slowly opened the door. 


	4. Chapter 4

**-= John's POV =-**  
When Alexander emerged from the bathroom, he looked like a complete mess. There was blood soaking through his pants and he looked like he had been crying. He walked over to the bed and flopped unceremoniously onto it. I stared at the blood for a few moments before walking to the bathroom again and grabbing some gauze, bandages, and a towel, plus some disinfectant. I walked back over to the bed and sat down.

I had no clue what had overcome me, but after seeing his breakdown I had the sudden urge to protect him. I chalked it up to the fact in a month we would be married. "Roll down your pants." He sat up on his elbows and opened his mouth as if to speak, before he saw the gauze, bandages, and disinfectant. He huffed and did as he was told, quietly watching as I went to work wiping off the blood and wrapping the wounds.

"Why?" He asked when I was done. I gave him a small smirk.

"Can't have you getting infected. Wouldn't exactly be the best thing in the world." He rolled his eyes in response.

"Maybe it would be. I wouldn't have to deal with all this shit."

"What do you mean?" I asked curiously. "Is it really that bad? I mean, it's not like it's uncommon."

"I'm away from everyone and everything I've ever known, probably won't see any of them again, and am currently being forced into a marriage I never agreed to! Of course It's fucking bad." He shot up and glared at me. "I might see Lafayette again, he'd probably find a way to come steal me back if he wasn't able to see me, but that's it! Herc is just a poor tailor and the sisters are just waiting to be married off! I will never see any of them again."

I didn't respond. What would I even say to him? Then it hit me. "I'm sure we could figure out a way for you to see them. And I may be a dick at times, but I'm not going to force you into anything. I don't exactly get much say in this either. And this tailor? If he isn't half bad I'm sure we could get him a job here." Alexander's eyes seemed to light up at the mention of his friend.

Maybe this was the best bet to keep him happy and occupied. "You would actually do that?" He seemed in slight disbelief, which was surprising. Had he really been that forgotten?

"Of course. Besides, I've been told about the kind of fits you've been known to throw when something doesn't go your way-"

"When my parents are assholes and make it seem like I'm some brat. I don't think fake courting a friend so her parents don't marry her off to some creep counts as some hissy fit. Or threatening to release some, ah,  _scandalous_  information to the public if they try to get me to stop hanging around Hercules and coming back drunk. I'd simply call them fibs and promises. I don't threaten." He cut me off, seeming slightly defensive about the woman he had mentioned.

"-and It would make this much easier if you were actually happy. Now, for the time being you should get some rest. Also, I apologize in advance if one of the littles come and bug you in the morning. They tend to do that."

He gave me a small smile. "Don't worry about it. They're all fucking adorable." I nodded.

"Goodnight." I said before leaving. I walked back to my bedroom. 

 **-= Alexander's POV =-**  
I wasn't surprised when I was woken up by a small child shaking me, then the sound of someone scolding them. I sat up and looked at the child who was sitting on my bed, then at the maid who was presumably supposed to be caring for her. "I apologise sir. I tried to stop her, but she ran off the moment I looked away."

"No worries. I should be getting up anyways." I lifted the girl and set her on the floor, stretching and getting out of bed myself. The maid took the little girl out, and I started getting ready. I ended up on choosing to wear a simple baby blue dress with a circle skirt, huffing when I saw all of my suits and suck had been removed from my things. After I was done, I threw my hair up into a messy bun before exiting my room and going to the library.

If I couldn't be alone elsewhere, hopefully the library could become my safe haven. My plan to be alone worked for all of an hour and a half when my father came in looking upset. "Where have you been! I've been looking all over for you!" I closed the book I had been reading and turned to face him.

"I wasn't hiding. I've been here for quite some time. And since you decided to tell me I couldn't bring books, then take all my books and pants save some night clothes, this was the perfect place to relax."

He looked furious. "It does not matter! You're supposed to sit still and look pretty! You can't be running off like this. Not only does this reflect on you, but it reflects on me. If you can't understand this I will not hesitate to order someone to stand outside of your door all day to be sure you don't leave. You're purpouse in all of this is to end a damn war. All you have to do is marry one guy! It's not so difficult!"

I snapped. I was done with it. "I'm not some object for you to parade around! I'm not some little girl who's going to do what daddy says because I'm oh so weak and can't do anything for myself! It's not fucking right to just marry me off to some random guy as soon as it helps you. Although that's what you're doing. For all you know they could kill me and if they still agree to the treaty you wouldn't bat an eye."

He had gone silent. I started laughing, tears falling down my face. "You can't even say anything because you know I'm right! You don't give a shit about me. You couldn't have a daughter so you turned your son into one. I'm done with you-" I was cut off by the door opening and several guards coming in. Probably because of the shouting. They just sort of stared at us once they got inside.

"Is there anything wrong?" One of them asked.

"It's alright. I am handling it." my father said. I was still laughing through my tears. They nodded and left after that, not one more question. Then my father turned on me. "And you. You are to go to your room and wait for someone to come collect you. You and Laurens will be heading out for a few hours. If you disobey, there will be consequences."

Seeing any attempt as futile, I stormed back off, laying down on my bed and closing my eyes, waiting for Someone to come collect me. As much as I wanted to run off and cause problems, it would only hurt me more in the end. It took at least an hour before a maid came in.

I followed her quietly. If they wouldn't even let me relax with a book fine. They'll just have to play my games.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised. longer chapters.

**-= Alexander's POV =-  
** I didn't notice something was off until the carriage I had been ushered into was locked from the outside. I tried breaking open the door but to no luck. After a while, the carriage stopped. I heard the door unlock and went up to rush out and get away, but instead, someone who looked strangely like Lafayette entered and the door was once again locked behind him.

He seemed calm though. He sat down across from me and gave me this smirk that just made me want to strangle him. "Who are you want what's going on? Where are you taking me?"

"Now now kitten. Calm yourself. I had heard you'd be here and just had to get my hands on you." He moved so he was sitting next to me and I moved away, wanting to be as far away from him as possible.

"You never answered my questions! You do foresee how much trouble this will get you in, kidnapping me. I suggest you answer my questions or I become an even bigger problem." I continued to scoot closer, grabbing onto my waist at the last moment before I could move away again. I struggled against his grip. "Let me go!" I shouted.

"Scream all you want, hun. Nobody is going to find you." He tightened his grip to the point I feared it would bruise my skin. he pulled me into his lap, which I continued to try to squirm out of. "Stop trying to get away from me. We have a long ride ahead of us, and I'm sure that little prince of yours won't notice you're gone until it's too late." 

I didn't listen. I fought against him until I felt a sudden pain in my head, and then nothing.

 

I awoke god knows how long later. Wherever I was was dark, and when I tried to move I noticed my hands were bound above my head. Just great. I had no clue how long I had been passed out and my clothing hadn't been changed. Due to my position, my skirt had ridden up quite a bit and seeing as I had no use of my hands, was unable to fix it.

I decided to scream out for help, only to be met with silence. I had no clue how long it was before someone entered and sat down on the edge of what I noticed was a bed. "Who the hell are you!" I screamed, pulling against the chains.

"I'd quiet down if I were you. Although, I'm sure I'll be making you scream soon enough." My eyes widened and I tried pulling away from him, moving away as far as I could die to my restraints. "Don't be so silly." He moved closer and used his hand to force me to face him. "I wouldn't want to hurt such a pretty thing. No, You'll be begging for me to use you like the dirty slut you are."

I stopped moving. No no no no no. This wasn't going to happen. I couldn't let it happen. But it did. He didn't go farther then running his hands along my body as if memorizing the curves from being forced to wear excruciatingly tight corsets for years. I hated every second of it. He eventually left, leaving me alone. I was given no food or water, nor a means to use the restroom. I felt trapped, stuck. Just like I had been all those years with my father. Learning how to be some pirfect little toy for someone to use.

I didn't try to stop the tears that night.

 

What I assumed to be the next day, he came back, only this time he didn't stop at running his hands on me. I fought against him as much as I could but eventually gave up. He left when he was done and came back a few hours later. I put up no struggle this time. What was the point? I was cuffed to a wall and had no clear way to escape. So I just laid there.

I had no idea on the passage of time, only vague memories of each time he would enter, use me, then leave as if nothing happened. When I heard the door open I didn't even flinch. I knew what was coming and there was no way to stop it. I tried to focus on the chafing on my wrists other than his hands on my wait. My hips. prying my legs open-

The door slammed open. I did not move, only continued to silently cry. His hands were off me and I heard shouting, but was too lost to pay attention to them. I was hungry, I was parched, and I hadn't gotten a wink of sleep in however long it had been.

I heard something being slammed against the floor and then someone undoing my wrists. I opened my eyes and despite my vision being blurry from crying, I could make out John sitting there with a worried expression on his face. When my wrists were undone I curled in on myself, sobbing. I felt someone wrap their arms around me and started freaking out again until I realized it was John, and he was picking me up bridal style. 

I let him carry me, paying no attention to the fact I probably looked like a mess and the slightly torn dress barely covered me. I let myself be taken into a carriage and be taken away, all while John never let go of me.

**-=John's POV=-**

When I had seen Alexander laying there, dress torn up and bruises covering his body I felt my heard drop. What's more was some random guy sitting over him, prying his legs open. As if on instinct, I ran over and pulled him off Alexander, who had simply continued crying. I punched the man square in the nose and when he crumpled to the floor, kicked him a few times for good measure.

I grabbed the keys from his pocket and begun to undo the chains on Alexander's wrists. When I was done, he curled in on himself, but he needed to get out of here. I gently pulled him into a position that would make him easier to carry, but he only started freaking out more for a few moments before going practically limp.

When he did so I stood up and walked out of the shack he had been in, carrying him into the carriage I had come in and ordering the driver to leave. The rest of the guard there would take care of the man. Through all of it, I didn't let go of Alexander, who ended up bawling into my shirt for the entire ride back.

When we arrived back home, I carried him off, waving off the offers of assistance. After what I had just seen I figured more people weren't going to help. I had one of the maids inform his father he was found and safe, while I took him to my rooms, setting him on the bed. He freaked out a little when I set him down, but calmed relatively quickly.

When I was sure he'd be okay I went and drew a bath for the poor man, coming out to help him over. He put up no fight while I helped him undress and sit down in the bath, which was odd coming from someone who had, only days before threatened to send an entire army against me had I stepped out of line. It was unnerving to say the least.

When he was settled I stepped out of the room to gather something comfortable for him to change into and to have one of the maids bring food and plenty of water for him. When that was done I went back to the bathroom to check on Alexander, setting the clothing I had grabbed on the counter before stepping back over to examine the bruises. He didn't have any open wounds, which was good, but he had clearly been put through hell and back.

"M' sorry..." He mumbled, voice cracking.

"For what? None of it was your fault. The man has most likely been arrested by now and will be awaiting a sentence for his crimes." I watched him struggle to wash his hair, flinching at the movement.

"First, can you help me with my hair? It's extremely greasy and gross." I nodded and started to put some soap in his hair, massaging his scalp as I did so. "Secondly, I should have fought more... I usually put up more of a fight..."

"Alexander, in the state you were in when I found you, you have no reason to be sorry. I had some food and water called for and it should be on its way soon. Have you eaten?" he gently shook his head. Before I continued I told him to lean his head back so I could rinse his hair, which he did. Once that was done I put some of the oil I used on my hair and let it sit for a few. he gave me a confused look when I did this. "Makes it soft and silky." I explained.

When I rinsed it out and gently helped him stand, emptying the bath while he dried himself off and got dressed. I waited to look again until I was sure he was dressed, and couldn't help the smile that broke out on my face. I had given him an old shirt and some loose trousers, but they were so big on his small frame it made him look adorable.

He pouted a bit and made a comment about how if he could get along with eating, it would fit him better and I nodded and followed him out. He ended up falling asleep curled on my bed, his now dry hair fanning out over his face. I pushed a few stands away from his eyes before laying down next to him, still leaving a respectable distance and falling asleep. We could deal with everyone else in the morning.


	6. Chapter 6

**-= Alexander's POV =-**  
I awoke in the morning in a random bed. In a brief moment of panic I looked around, and when my gaze landed on John, who was laying on the opposite side of the bed, my memories of the previous day returned. I was suddenly grateful he had stayed on the opposite side. I calmed myself down before laying back down, curling into a ball and closing my eyes. Only then did I notice the insistent pain from the bruises covering my body and how much pain my ass was in.

I whimpered and curled in more on myself, feeling warm tears gather in my eyes. I have no clue how long I laid there like that, but eventually I felt someone gently rubbing my back. "Hey, it's okay. It's going to be alright. You're safe Alexander." I nodded, although I was sure it was clear I was barely listening. "Do you want me to get you some painkillers?" I nodded. 

I felt the bed spring back up, a few minutes later the dip returning. "I need you to sit up for me to you can take them." I obeyed, putting most of my weight on my hip, which still hurt from the bruising, but caused far less pain than sitting normally. John handed me a glass of water and some pills which I took gratefully, downing the water. When I was done he set the glass on the side table.

I had no clue what came over me, but I started crying. I was in so much pain, the memories of everything that had happened fresh in my mind. I felt John hesitantly wrap his arms around me, and instead of pulling away like a part of me told me to do, I curled closer, letting him hold me while I sobbed.

It was a long morning. When I had calmed down enough, John had gotten up to request the maids they bring us breakfast, which I was grateful for. I wasn't ready to face the world yet. I was even hesitant on having John so close to me and letting him see me cry, but it would have been a useless battle.

Not only was he the one who had ultimately found me, but I couldn't evade him forever. In under a month, we would be married and I would be trapped with him. Although trapped wasn't the right word for it. Trapped is used when you can't escape something and he had made it clear he didn't want to push me too far. 

The marriage was inevitable. We were both trapped in that, but maybe it was okay. He wasn't too disregarding, and seemed to care enough to understand being around other people was the last thing I needed. As much as I hated the idea of this marriage, maybe we could make the best of it. 

Maybe I could see my friends again and be able to be an actual person around them again.

 **-= John's POV =-  
** I woke up to the sound of someone crying.  When I turned to the noise, I saw Alexander curled in a ball sobbing, shakes wracking through his small frame. As if on instinct I started rubbing his back.  "Hey, it's okay. It's going to be alright. You're safe Alexander." He nodded, though it ws clear he was barely listening. "Do you want me to get you some painkillers?" He nodded.

I got up and grabbed some from the bathroom, along with a glass of water. When I walked back out the sight genuinely hurt to see. Alexander was still shaking and was obviously in a fuck ton of pain. I sat on the bed next to him. "I need you to sit up for me to take them." I said. He listened, although it was clear how much pain a simple movement like that caused him. He ended up putting his weight on his hip, something I couldn't blame him for.

I handed the glass of water and the pills to him, which he took. He downed the water and when he was done, I took the glass and set it n the side table. When I looked back at him, he started sobbing again. I hesitantly wrapped my arms around him, tightening my grip when he curled closer.

I had barely known him a mere few days, yet it was unnerving to see him so broken. When he had arrived he had been a spitfire, even when he was very clearly struggling he stayed strong. Whoever did this to Alexander would wish they were simply put to death.

When he had calmed down enough, I got up and asked the maids to bring us some food, knowing full well being around everyone would be the worst idea I could come up with. As much as this whole marriage thing was forced, I still would rather him respect and trust me rather than fear me. Plus, from the way he looked when I returned to the bed, he seemed hesitant when he curled up into my side.

I knew I should be upset but he hadn't done anything wrong. He was just as trapped in this as I was. Maybe getting that Hercules guy here would help him. Maybe seeing the people he obviously trusted would help him overcome this.

The food came and we ate in a calm quiet. He ended up falling back asleep, and when I was sure he was actually asleep I slid out of his grasp and made my way to my desk. I started drafting a letter to the Marquis de Lafayette. Alex seemed to be close, and hopefully, through him, I could get ahold of the other guy.

Hopefully, this would help him.

 

The next few days passed in a blur. Alexander had been able to walk around a bit and his bruises were slowly fading. He still hadn't returned to his rooms, which had seemed odd, but when I asked him about it his only reply was "I might as well get used to being around you."

We had slowly begun talking more. Most of it was silly little things like hobbies and the like, but there were a few conversations that were awkward and tense, yes, but necessary. The most prominent being when boundaries came up. It had been brought up when Mary had mentioned the wedding. Sure, to the public we would have to act like any other couple, holding hands and the like, but what really came down to it was whether the first kiss.

When that had been brought to Alexander's attention he had freaked out a bit, saying that no, there was no way he could do that, contrary to our father's argument it needed to look real and refusing to kiss would make it even look fake.

_"I just can't! I'm already stuck in this fucking marriage, there's no way they're going to make me act like I'm okay with this!"_

_"There's always a stage kiss. The only person who would see tould be the minister, and I agree. It's already messed up they only decided to give us a month to get to know each other."_

_"A stage kiss would work. At least someone in this situation's head isn't filled with lead."_

_"I do try."_

We were sitting in the library, Alexander reading while I got some work done. It was the one place he had been fine with going to, but other than that he stayed in the room, ignoring everyone but a select few maids.

A knock on the door interrupted the quiet. I got up and went to the door, opening it up. Outside stood four guards and two men. One of them was dressed in a nice suit while the other had on a jacket that looked more for warmth then fashion. The one in the suit, who I remembered to be the Marquis de Lafayette, gave me a small smile.

"Where is Alexander? After reading what happened I may have forgotten to inform you, but Herc and I need to see him."

The other man, who I guessed was Hercules nodded when Lafayette finished speaking. I only stepped aside, letting the two into the library. I turned to watch the three, Alexander jumping up as soon as he saw the two, Lafayette and Hercules pulling him into a hug. I watched the smaller man flinch and wanted to say something, but let it happen as he seemed okay.

Hopefully this was just what he needed.


	7. Chapter 7

**-= Alexander's POV =-**  
When I first say Lafayette and Hercules I was too excited to wonder about who had called for them to be here. After a few hours of hanging out and catching up, it hit me that they knew exactly what had happened. There was one person I had talked to about it, and the aids who overheard were paid to not hear things like that.

He was also the only one here I had mentioned Lafayette and Hercules to.

"Wait, Laf was John the one who wrote to you?"

"Yes, he seemed very insistent that we come. Made it a point you needed people you trusted." I let out a groan.

"One of you give me a reason to hate him. Please. I want to so bad but he's been too nice."

"Or you know, you could accept that he's actually a pretty decent person and make the best out of this whole situation." Hercules gave me a glare as he spoke.

"I have to side with Hercules on this one,  _mon cher_. He does not seem that bad. He's actively trying to make this as bearable as possible for you. Would he have cared to remember our names if he did not?"

As much as I wanted to argue, they were right. John was trying to make this better for me. He was trying to help make this bearable, and if Hercules was here, he might actually offer him a job. I'm still going to be a brat, but maybe Hercules is right. I should make the best out of this whole thing.

"Fine. Fine, I'll try. I'll give it a chance." Lafayette grinned and jumped up and down like a child. What did I get myself into?

 

Apparently a lot. That night, Lafayette and Hercules tried convincing me to wear an appropriately short skirt with stockings.

They barely succeeded. The skirt was a navy blue, while the stockings were white. It was paired with a white button-up tucked into the skirt.

"Alex, you look amazing!" Hercules exclaimed while I turned around for them.

"I have to disagree," I mumbled, crossing my arms.

"Non. You look beautiful. No, come! Let's go to dinner! I'm starved." Hercules nodded and followed Lafayette out. I gave a huff before following the pair.

When we all sat down, I ended up between Lafayette and John, with Hercules next to Lafayette. I crossed my arms and tried to ignore everything going on and all the questions on how I was doing, as I hadn't spoken much to anyone but it was getting too much.

Too many voices. Too many questions. Too many people. To little air. Not enough air. Why can't I breathe? Where is Lafayette? I know he was just there why isn't anyone doing anything? Why is everything black? Oh, wait, no my eyes are just closed.

I opened my eyes a bit, still feeling unable to breathe and glanced around. Somehow I had ended up on the floor, Lafayette picking me up while shouting. At who though? I tilted my head a bit to see John shouting as well. Why were they arguing?

I closed my eyes and tried to breathe again. I was able to breathe but it still felt like there was not enough air. No wonder I was so dizzy. I curled more into Lafayette, listening to his heartbeat and trying to match my breathing to that.

It worked only slightly, and when I opened my eyes again I was curled in Lafayette's lap on a couch. He was no longer saying anything, which was good. I was able to breathe again too. I closed my eyes and snuggled into his chest. I had missed him so much. He was one of the few people who knew how to calm me down.

He seemed to notice and started running a hand through my hair. "You feeling any better?" he asked. I nodded.

"Water?" I mumbled. He nodded and reached over, handing me a glass that was sitting on the end table. Huh. Did he really know that well I always needed water after an attack? Oh well. I gulped the water, handing him the cup when I was done.

"John wants to come in and check on you. Would that be okay?" I nodded again and pulled away, sitting on the couch next to him. Lafayette got up and went to the door, coming back a few moments later with John at his side.

I grinned a bit and hugged him when he came over. I didn't really want him to see me weak like that, but it's not like Lafayette would always be there to help me through it. If I had to do this it would be more beneficial for him to know how to calm me down properly.

"You feeling alright?" he asked. I nodded and pulled away, curling up in the smallest ball possible.

"I'll be fine. I've been worse." He nodded. Lafayette glanced between us before leaving the room. John noticed this and sat down next to me, wrapping his arms around me. I leaned into him, closing my eyes. As much as I hated to admit it after our initial conflict his presence around me had become a calming one. Similar to Lafayettes, although instead of the brotherly feeling around him, it was something different. I didn't know what it was though.

"I wanna show you something." He said, pulling away and standing up. I looked at him for a moment before hesitantly standing up.

"What is it?"

"You'll see." And with that, he grabbed my hand and started dragging me through the palace. I was genuinely nervous, but something about his childish excitement calmed me down. It was going to be okay. Everything was going to be okay.

So I followed him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for all the weirdly timed updated I had my appendix removed Friday and have been suffering since xD


	8. Chapter 8

**-= Alexander's POV =-**  
John dragged me through the hallways, stopping outside a glass door that lead to the gardens. When I realized where we were going, I grinned. John noticed and gave me a soft smile before pushing open the doors and dragging me with him to a farther end of the garden, where it was much more secluded but even more beautiful.

We sat down on a bench underneath this beautiful willow tree. We sat there in silence for a few moments before he spoke. "I talked to Hercules. He said he needs to go back to gather his things, but when he gets everything sorted out he'll be moving here to work as your personal tailor." I couldn't believe what I had just heard.

I had known Lafayette wouldn't be able to always be there, but I'd have Hercules! Without thinking, I threw myself at John, hugging him tightly. "Thank you so much... I can't thank you enough for everything you've done." He wrapped his arms around me, holding me close. For some reason I felt so safe with him, sure we had a rough start but since then he had been so sweet.

"You don't need to thank me. All I've done is make sure you're comfortable here. You were forced to uproot your entire life. I can't imagine it would be the best feeling." I nodded, squeezing him tighter. I was over the moon about it. Sure, it was simply offering a job they would need to fill anyways, but it was more than that and he seemed to know.

I had to leave everything I had ever known. The mere thought of having one of my best friends there for me calmed me down so much. I let go, not pulling away all the way, but enough to look at him. I was smiling like crazy, unable to contain my excitement. John smiled, and when he did I didn't realize until now how good he looked when he was smiling. Or just in general.

Before I realized what I was doing I pressed my lips against his. When I did realize this however, I expected him to pull away or something. Leave me like everyone else always did. So I was extremely surprised when he didn't. He kissed back, and not knowing what else to do I melted into it, wrapping my arms around his neck and pulling him closer.

I felt John's arms tighten around my waist and I smiled into the kiss. He pulled away, resting his forehead against mine. Maybe this wouldn't be as bad as I originally thought. Maybe this would work out just fine.

-=+=-

Hours later, after quite a few more kisses and just enjoying each other's presence we went back inside. I was far too tired to go all the way to my room, so I ended up staying with John, falling asleep in his arms. It was definitely something we needed to talk about, but this would make this whole marriage thing much more enjoyable.

When I awoke the next morning, it was due to a loud insistent knocking and the ever recognizable voice of Lafayette arguing with someone who spoke in a much more hushed tone. I laughed to myself before groggily getting up and heading to the door, opening it to see Lafayette shouting at some poor maid.

"I am so sorry sir, I told him you were most likely still asleep-"

"It's alright. Don't worry about it." I gave her a small smile before she scurried off. I turned to Lafayette and crossed my arms. "Now you on the other hand. What compelled you to wake me up at this ungodly hour?"

"I went to go get you and you weren't in your room! I had to make sure you were okay." I crossed my arms and glared at him in response.

"Laf. I'm fine. I was up late last night and didn't want to walk all the way back to my room." I was still sleepy. Maybe if I could get him away I could get some more sleep.

"Oh. Are you feeling okay? You look horrible." I rolled my eyes.

"Laf, not everyone can function this early. go bug Herc. I wanna go back to sleep." He continued to try and fuss over me, but I was having none of it. "Laf. Please. I love you, but you are testing my patience."

"Fine, fine. You go enjoy your sleeping." And with that he left. I let out a sigh and walked back into the room, curling back up under the covers. I had thought John was asleep but I was incorrect, as he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into his chest.

"Where'd you go it was so warm then my heat source left." I chuckled and relaxed into him.

"Laf just mom friending it up." I replied with a small grin.

"Oh, should I have gotten up and embarrassed you then?" He responded, smiling. I felt my face heat up, and I choked on air. It only made him laugh for a moment before making sure I was okay. I nodded, calming my breathing.

It was odd to think about. Not too long ago we were threatening each other and trying to make each other's lives as difficult as possible. I really didn't expect things to work out the way they have. But now that it has, I'm extremely thankful for it.

Had we continued to argue like that this whole thing would be unbearable. I'd probably just run off again only this time never come back. Steal a horse and some food and get as far away as possible.

But yet he was there when I needed someone who cared. And I was eternally grateful for that.

When I finally calmed my breathing and we were both giggling like idiots, I took a moment to focus on his face. Sure, I had seen him hundreds of times, but I never took the time to actually  _look_ at him.Each one of his freckles that look like constellations congregated all together. He was genuinely gorgeous. I also noticed his green eyes had flecks of blue in them, something I realized I'd never get to look at enough.

And his lips. I knew firsthand just how soft they were, and the thought of the previous night made my face heat up. I could care less. John opened his mouth to say something, but I cut him off by kissing him. Instead of the brief pause of confusion from our first kiss, he almost instinctively kissed back, running a hand through my hair and trailing it to the small of my back, where he pulled me closer.

It wasn't chaste, but it wasn't anything too passionate or heated. It was sweet, and when he pulled away we both grinned, enjoying the peaceful bliss of the moment.

Of course though, nothing happy or calm seemed to ever last for me, as there was a knock on the door. I huffed, flopping back down on the bed. John chuckled and got up to see who it was. Outside was one of the older maids who had probably been working here longer. She looked around as if making sure nobody else was around when she spoke.

"Sir, they have someone under the name of Thomas Jefferson in custody for the... incident. Your father and Washington are asking that you and Mr. Hamilton will come to discuss his sentence." She curtsied, looking down nervously.

"Thank you so much, Martha. would you be able to inform them we'll be there soon?" She nodded before rushing off. When she was gone, John closed the door and turned to me, giving me a soft smile .

"You ready to go make sure this guy suffers?" I nodded in response .

"Of course."


	9. Chapter 9

Alexander and John walked into the room hand in hand. John was glaring daggers at the man in front of him, who was looking down at his feet. Alex only stepped closer to John, keeping his eyes trained on the man, even though he was handcuffed and chained to the floor, with several guards in the room.

John led Alexander to the front of his room where both their parents stood. Situations like this were extremely rare, and as a result, nobody knew what to do when they happened. Their parents had all decided to give him a 'trial' which they all knew was just a formal way of saying they were about to shout at him, and when they were done they were going to let John decide what would happen, as Alexander's future husband.

"Please state your name and age for reference." Henry said, glaring at the man. Even if he didn't like Alexander, he had taken something Henry saw as his. As something he owned and was giving to his son.

The man finally looked up, Alexander flinching when he did so. "Oh, but we all know that isn't going to matter now, do we? The little whore has probably made up all these lies-"

"I'm going to stop you right fucking there. Don't fucking continue. I'd just like to know the name of the guy who I'm about to fuck up." John hissed, pulling Alexander close to him, feeling the smaller man relax a little.

"John, calm down." His father ordered, though John didn't listen.

"Sure, I may listen and go along with this whole 'trial' thing for show but I could care less. As long as I get to watch you suffer."

"Just kill me already. We all know you wan't to-"

"You're not going to just die." Alexander cut in, surprising everyone. "That's too easy. A coward's way out." John looked to him and gave him a small smile, only encouraging Alex further. "No. You're going to suffer. You're not going to enjoy what happens to you."

"Alexander I think that's enough-" George cut in, grabbing his son's shoulder. Alex pulled away from him, glaring at him. He looked ready to burst.

"No. Let them continue. They're going to be the ones taking over when I'm gone. Let's see what they're capable of doing to someone." Henry grinned. Alex turned back to the man. John let go of Alexander, moving to him. 

"So. Tell me. What is your name." John kicked him roughly, making Alex grin a little. It was brutal, sure, but the man deserved any punishment he received after what he had done to him.

"Thomas Jefferson." He answered, smiling like he didn't care about what happened to him. It angered John, that he didn't care. He didn't even seemed phased about the face he had kidnapped and raped Alexander, taking his virginity and leaving him broken and scared.

John kicked him again. This time in the stomach, knocking the wind out of him. "And what would bring you to do such a stupid, thoughtless thing?" He asked, sarcasm leaking through his voice.

"Little slut deserved it. Walking around in those little dresses that someone could easily lift and-" he was cut off by another kick to the stomach.

"I think that's enough." John looked to Alexander, returning to his side. Alex leaned into him, fitting comfortable into John's side. "Mines." was all John had to say for everyone in the room to understand. The mines were where they sent the worst criminals, the ones who did unspeakable things. 

Usually they would be sentenced to death, but if they pissed of someone enough they'd be sent to the mines, around dangerous gasses and deep beneath the earth's surface without any proper protection and little to no food or water. They were beaten if they didn't work, and turned into slaves, working until they eventually fell over and died a slow, agonizing and painful death.

Alex grinned, hugging John tightly. Before Jefferson got a chance to protest or spew any more insults to Alexander, several guards took him away, John waiting until he was sure Jefferson was long gone to lead Alexander back up to their bedroom.

...

Alex wrapped his arms around John, nuzzling into his chest. They were sitting in the library, Alex in John's lap while the latter read to him. It was calm and peaceful, and Alexander had relaxed immensely knowing he was safe again.

John chuckled a bit, setting down the book he had been reading and running a hand through Alex's hair. "You're like a needy cat who needs constant attention." He muttered with a smile.

"Meow, bitch." Alex responded sleepily, closing his eyes.

John laughed. "You tired?" He asked as he kissed Alexander's head.

"Very, no go back to reading so I can pretend to listen and fall asleep." Alex replied. With a smile, John pulled a fluffy blanket over them, making sure it reached up to Alexander's shoulders. He continued reading, stopping only when he was sure Alex was fully asleep.

He took this chance to finally get a good look at Alexander, from his long, black hair that was strewn about to his dark eyelashes that fluttered against his pale cheeks as he slept. He was genuinely beautiful, and John realized in that moment that he had stopped faking enjoying Alex's presence ages ago. He genuinely loved to be around him, and even if Alex didn't want any real romantic relationship with him he was fine with that.

As long as he was able to hold him at night while he fell asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Yes I know this was short. The rest of the chapters will be much longer and much more interesting :3


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